A mathematical model for beard growth and awesomeness

It’s a general rule that the longer you grow your beard, the more awesome you become. Does beard growth really lead to increased awesomeness? As a scientist by training, it is my scientific duty to poke and prod at so-called “rules of thumb” to ascertain the true reality. Do beards really grow half an inch per month? Do you actually get more awesome? How much more awesome do you get? Today, I’m going to present to you a mathematical model for beard growth and its correlation with personal awesomeness. This is some pretty serious stuff. Furthermore, since this is Beards & Money, I’m going to show you the parallels to net-worth growth and feelings of awesomeness. Continue reading “A mathematical model for beard growth and awesomeness”

A mathematical model for beard growth and awesomeness

The Beginning: Beard and Net Worth, Month 1

I have been inspired by J. Money at Budgets are Sexy to post my net worth for the whole world to see (which means the three other people who have ever read this blog up until now.) He has a great post detailing the rise in his net worth over the past 8 years. He’s tracked his net worth publicly every month since his very first post on the subject in 2008.

Now, since this is Beards and Money, I can’t stop at net worth. Gotta show you the beard, too. So in this post I’m going to lay everything out. What assets we have, what debt we’re carrying, and our net-worth goals. Then, I’ll show you the beard as it sits today. It’s a little frizzy right now from the cold, dry Prague air and a serious lack of conditioning from our inability to learn the Czech word for conditioner.

We’re starting from a pretty good place, with a much higher net worth than the average couple our age. That would be great, except for the fact that the average net worth of people our age is abysmal. So it’s a low bar. I’m also starting pretty far into beardom. I’ve had some form of beard or goatee for the past 20 years, but I have only recently started on the “yeard” journey. There is still much time to go.
Continue reading “The Beginning: Beard and Net Worth, Month 1”

The Beginning: Beard and Net Worth, Month 1

How to grow a beard, save piles of money, and live a fancy life

So who is this bearded internet personality with the audacity to suggest that there is a link between beard and net-worth growth, that both are really simple, and that everyone else (almost) is wrong?

So we’re clear, I have no special qualifications, other than a beard and a six-figure net-worth. There are a lot of people out there with both of those things, and I’m no smarter than any of them. I just happen to be the one writing stuff down.

First, let me explain my personal motivation for this blog. I want a luxurious beard and a significantly larger net-worth. The best way to achieve your goals is to make them public, so that’s what I’m doing. And hopefully, my path can help other fellow travelers. I’ve decided to grow a beard and I have put together a plan that will have me and my wife completely financially independent within 10 years. What I mean by financial independence is that the annual earnings on our investments will be more than our annual spending, so we can just retire without ever having to worry about money again. I’m good at math, and the math tells me that if I work our plan, then we’ll reach that point in 10 years or less on a salary well south of six figures. Continue reading “How to grow a beard, save piles of money, and live a fancy life”

How to grow a beard, save piles of money, and live a fancy life