Dr. Beard is my pseudonym. I am a college professor with expertise in educational psychology, cognitive science, and science education. I’ve written a bazillion articles on those topics, focusing primarily on science thinking and how to transition students from novice-like thinkers to more expert-like thinkers.

So why do I write about money here, and why should you listen to anything I have to say on the subject? Good question.

There appears to be a similarly wide gulf between the ways money dumbasses and money badasses think. I think it might be a little fun to explore that gap. And although I’m a money dumbass myself, I’m going to pontificate for gazillions of words anyway.

I’m pretty much going to use my real-world training and expertise to pop-psychologize the shit out of you and your money.


Finance is usually about 10% reason- and fact-based decision making, and about 90% emotion and trying to not be an idiot. Maybe I can use my Ph.D.ed thinky-brain to come up with some connections between how we learn difficult topics like science and finance, and the psychological frameworks that can gum up the whole works.

In my professional life, I use lots of data and sophisticated methodologies to back-up my claims. With this blog, I’ll probably just skip all of that.

Sometimes you’ll read what I write and think a little. Sometimes you’ll scratch your head and get confused. Sometimes you might even feel a little sorry for me.

Basically, this site is a silly little blog about beards and money. I offer no great experience or authority about beards or money. In fact, I rarely even talk about beards. I mostly make stuff up loosely based on “science” and impressive sounding words and themes, sometimes to interesting effect.

You will learn nothing new about either beards or money that hasn’t been beaten to death across the blogosphere. However, you might learn something new about what in the hell goes on in that brain of yours.

Basically, my value proposition is that I provide very little of tangible value, but you’ll learn some big smart-sounding words to use at parties. I might be able to teach you why your big dumb brain keeps making stupid money decisions, but I’ve got little else to give.

If you want to actually learn how to make money, save money, live a minimalist lifestyle, invest successfully, have lusciously soft facial hair, get laid, and get rich, then I’m a shitty role model.

But if you want to know why you suck at money, then I probably have something to say, because I really suck at money.

All of that said, keep in mind, I am anonymous. I’m a fiction. So everything I write could be a lie. I could be a sock puppet for some blog hosting service. You really just don’t know!


Besides the fancy-pants writing, I also chronicle my family’s own money transformation.

My wife and I are working on retiring in the next 10 years around the time we both hit our mid forties. We’re going to do it on a single income that comes in shy of six figures, while raising two small children.

We got started a little late, but thankfully we weren’t completely stupid in our earlier years. We’re starting with a net worth in the low six figures, which means we’re way ahead of our peers.

We have a plan that has us 100% debt free (including the mortgage) with a net-worth just shy of $1 million dollars in that 10 year span.

In this blog, I’m going to write about that journey. You can believe it or not. Like I said, this could all be lies created by some genius marketing executive with SoFi Student Loan Refinancing.


As you may have noticed, I don’t use my real name. The who-is directory will tell you that this site was registered by “Domain Administrator Number 40881.” I use RespectMyPrivacy, LLC to remain anonymous.

I like my privacy. There are several reasons.

  1. I could be making everything up. It’s easier to do that when no one knows who you are.
  2. When I’m not making something up, I’m posting actual financial details. A little personal, don’t you think? It’s much easier to do that when you’re anonymous.
  3. I’m a little more salty with my language than my employer and consulting clients might prefer. The PTA President of some school that my meat-space counterpart might consult for has a high probability of being an asshole. For the children.

So … remember kids. I’m entertainment and unreliable.

So follow me. Grow a beard. Grow your nest egg. Learn to live more simply, more free, and more happy.

At least be entertained. Otherwise, get the fuck out of here and go do something useful.

For a complete list of all the posts ever written in reverse chronological order, check out the posts page.


I have no training in anything that would be helpful to anyone. Look, if you’re relying on an anonymous internet dude that rants about beard oil for financial advice, then you’re in trouble. The beard is glorious, and it does make me an expert on manliness, badassity, and morality, but financially I’m a dumbass. I’m entertainment. This is a silly little site about growing a beard and one individual’s attempt to grow his net worth. When your stock portfolio drops by 15%, don’t blame me. It’s way easier to blame Obama Trump.